Wednesday, January 11, 2012

2012, the Year of Starting Over


Photo by Envy Graphix

Here we are in 2012! Has the excitement worn off yet? For me this is a new year that compliments a new chapter in my life both personally and professionally. I have embraced the symbolic nature that a new year holds and I am rolling with it as far as it takes me! However, I might have to stop occasionally to recharge my batteries.

2011 was a year of great loss. My family and I got hit with some financial difficulties, which caused my already strained marriage to buckle and implode. I have had to sell most of my photography equipment, to make ends meet and keep us fed. And my daughter has had her own life changing struggles she has had to endure. We have deemed 2011 the year of “Murphy’s Law (‘If anything can go wrong, it will".) I want to educate and enlighten others by my experiences but, I also want to maintain a level of privacy and professionalism; please bear with me while I find that balance. Needless to say I was happy to see the end to 2011 and begin 2012 the “Year of Beginnings,” as I do hereby deem.

So, here I am, stripped down with no husband, no home, no car and no studio. As I begin building again I recognize that my foundation is a lot stronger with additives that were lacking before: education, experience, and a new open spirituality that is more honest and authentic than I have ever known. It is as if I am arriving to a new destination as a new person. I say this because I am not the same person coming out of the marriage as I was going in, and I am thankful for the experience. I have learned a lot about love, life and relationships.

January 1, 2012 began a new calendar year and it brings new hope to everyone with a resolution. It is extra special to me as I transition to a new life on my own. I will be moving into my own place (as soon as I find one), restocking my photography equipment and focusing on my creative journey. I don’t mind admitting that I have a ton of obstacles and my struggles from my marriage are not going anywhere anytime soon. But I am going into this New Year with rejuvenated hope, and I will be drawing strength from the people I have come to know, who have deeply enriched my life.

The creative journey is not an easy travel. I have been criticized as a dreamer and another drop in the deep ocean of the inspired. I assure you, as a physically challenged woman who has seen the dawning of the ADA, rocky roads are my road home. When you know every little bump and groove you become familiar and even comfortable with the ride. I am not ever giving up.

A few years ago I hit a brick wall when I lost my breaks in my wheelchair accessible van. My head hit the steering wheel and left me with lacerations that stretched across my forehead and exposed my skull. I also had a broken nose and eventually had to have some teeth pulled. Despite having an amazing plastic surgeon and dentist I had a real hard time feeling like myself. Even today, although when you look at pictures of me before the accident and after, most people don’t know the difference. But for me, getting over a shaved head, two black eyes and a broken nose left its imprint on the image I see in the mirror. The picture above is very special to me, not just because it was taken by my good friend Nic of Envy Graphix, but because it is a reminder that wounds do heal.

So raise your glass of metaphorical champaign and lets toast to a year of new beginnings, stronger foundations and the inspiration to build.

3 comments:

Timeshadows said...

All manner of good thoughts and prayers to you. Inspiring folk deserve the knowledge that they've brightened the life of someone they've touched.

Cynthia said...

Sad to hear about your financial worries in the past year. I believe that with renewed determination, the year 2012 will be much rewarding for you and your family.

Landen Worley said...

Your determination and strength to start over again is really amazing! Having gone through a lot must have molded your character to be the woman that you are now. The wounds from your accident are a good example of what you are trying to achieve. You acquired bruises due to the accident, but as the time past it healed. This chapter of your life will just be like those bruises – it will be gone and will be renewed with lots of wonderful memories.